Just remember that it is possible to change your thoughts. It takes conscious effort and repetitious practice. It might be helpful for you to journal. What are you angry about? If you have built up anger, you might try identifying the anger, and then what triggers it.
/*-9Once you’ve identified the anger and what triggers that feeling, then you can tackle changing how your perspective – how you look at it.
Thoughts and actions are like the chicken and the egg – which comes first? I think it’s circular, not linear.
A friend of mine used to burn the previous year’s calendar every New Year’s Eve, because it represented letting go of the old year and all the bad, negative things that came with it.
In essence, it was a ritual of “letting go”. You could do that with those built-up anger issues. Write them down on a piece of paper and put them in a jar. Then deal with each one as best you can, with the end goal of letting it go.
If it’s a person that has wronged you, try talking to them about how you feel, but be careful not to get into a blaming/shouting match. It’s important to acknowledge how you feel, because it’s about healing yourself, not them. If they apologize, great. Try to forgive them and let it go, because harboring hate or anger toward someone only eats you up inside.
If it’s anger at a situation, or something like that, all you can do is make your peace with it. It is what it is. I fully believe everything happens for a reason. Usually there’s a lesson in there when bad things happen.
Don’t let yourself be a victim of your own negative thoughts! Take charge and deal with them as best you can. When you think you have come to the place where you can let one piece of anger go, take that paper out of the jar, put it in an ashtray or other container, and burn it. Then let it go.
BUT, the caveat is that each time you burn one piece of anger, you must replace it with a positive thought related to it. For example, if it’s the case of someone who wronged you, and you can forgive them, then burn that anger but write on a new piece of paper that forgiveness is about healing yourself. In other words, write down the lesson learned.
This turns negative thoughts into positive thoughts. Keep two jars. Hopefully one will eventually be empty and the other one full. Read the positive thoughts liberally, to stay motivated.
Thoughts and actions go hand-in-hand. There are many other things you can also do, of course, like praying, meditating, etc. But this is one method that some have used that seems to have both therapeutic and symbolic value for many who have tried it.
Just remember, you CAN change your thoughts. Not to say you won’t have days when you relapse, but just keep trying. One day you’ll wake up with a different attitude and a more positive outlook.
~ Sandra Limpert
